


in another life

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dating, Earth, F/M, Regrets, The Author Regrets Nothing, grounders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 13,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: it takes off in S1Ep12 when Bellamy trades places with jasper but not knowing if he will make it out in time , he leaves 13 videos for Clarke . To tell her how much she means to him , but unfortunately raven doesn't open the door in time and Bellamy dies but each video he gives her a message that helps her and everyone else carry on, but Clarke realizes how she felt but it was too late so she tells the story of a lost love to everyone she meets , the story of a man who saved the human race , who in another life would have been her happily ever after
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im so happy to be bringing these fics back for you all to enjoy

Another day In a paradise for the 100 or rather the 82 that were still alive, Bellamy never thought he would be running a camp ever since his life. He didn't like the fact that Murphy was back, Bellamy believed that he was up to something.

But his mind was on Clarke and Finn, ever since that trio with to Clarke. Bellamy was feeling something but he wasn't sure what it was. And now he feels like he did but it was too late, Clarke's heart belonged to Finn and there wasn't anything he could do.

But that's why he went and pulled out a camera that was left from the crash, he was never planning to show these to her but it was his way to deal with the feelings.

It took a couple of days to finish what Bellamy has planned to do when raven came tuning in, "Bellamy! " she yelled and was having trouble breathing, he walked up and grabbed her hands "hey slow down, what's wrong?" He finally got her to calm down,

"jasper saw Murphy killing people and now he's trapped, " raven said as Bellamy ran out and stood in front of the dropship. He grabbed the talkie from his sister and faced the door, "let him go Murphy" Bellamy was clearly angry but it didn't change anything.

he didn't have time for this and he turned to the raven , "look for a way in" he whispered and turned back to the door." murphy! I don't have time for this" he yelled into the talkie, but that is when he suddenly had an idea.

"bell no!" Octavia whispered as he raised his hand, he gave her a look and walked over "raven will get me out" he whispered to her.

The door opened and Bellamy looked back at his little sister "never forget I love you" he said as he walked in the door, and the jasper was tossed out and Octavia run to him.

she just prayed that raven would open the door and save her brother, she just got him back and she couldn't lose him again. Bellamy looked over at John who pointed to the stuff on the ground, "start tying it now Blake" john said as he made sure no one else followed bellamy in here.

Raven quickly hurried under the drop ship, bellamy wasn't going to die on her watch. she told jasper to stand by the door for when she opened it, she just prayed she would do this fast enough to save him. Meanwhile, Octavia was pacing back and forth as seconds went on, she couldn't lose Bellamy no again.

she finally after a while with jasper saw the door open and she didn't wait any time and run in, jasper yelled "hey grab his legs!' she did as told and kept asking him to wake up. they finally got him down and she held his head in her lap, "bell breathe come on!" but nothing was working. "get finn and Clarke now!' she yelled at jasper and miller, Octavia said as she tried to do CPR on her brother.

Finn and Clarke were about to enter the camp and miller went and grabbed Clarkes hand, "what's wrong?!' she asked miller who couldn't speak. "its Bellamy he's not breathing " Finn and Clarke looked at him, "show me him now! and explain what happened!" Clarke yelled as she ran with him to the dropship. "he trades places with me to save my life" jasper said trying not to cry, Clarke tried not to cry as she saw Bellamy with his eyes closed in Octavia's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone tries to deal with Bellamy's death, Clarke wonders who will lead them now but when all eyes turn to her.

im here" Clarke said as he ran over and took his pulse, "I can't find one! jasper hit him in the chest and O please breathe into his mouth" she said in a panic.

she and Bellamy were finally friends, Clarke wasn't about to lose someone else that she cared about. "Is it working? guys!' Octavia was asking, but Clarke finally stopped them and looked at them.

"Octavia im so sorry, we couldn't save him" she tried to grab her hand but was pulled away, "you saved Finn but you can't save my brother?! you hate me" Octavia said and ran to her brother's tent, "go after her jasper please," Finn said as Clarke grabbed Bellamy's head into her lap.

"he can't be gone Finn, he is sorry was our leader" Clarke didn't even know that she started to cry, Finn went to hug her but she pushed his hand aside.

"we cant bury him yet, we got to bury him at the final place when everyone else comes," Finn told her, She nodded and with Finns help carried him to the third floor.

Finn went to go tell everyone the news and who would run the camp now, Clarke sat down next to Bellamy and closed his eyes. "WHERE IS CLARKE?!' Octavia ran in the drop site as Finn came back, Eventually Clarke came down the steps and looked at her.

"O.." but Octavia handed her a bag, "my brother left this bag for you, I couldn't open it but it said for you" She wiped her tears and handed to it her, Octavia went up and held her brother in her arms. Clarke looked down at the bag and opened it, she saw 13 tapes and a camera.

she wondered if Bellamy knew he wasn't going to live or if he did this in case raven didn't succeed, Clarke walked out and saw everyone's eyes on her.

"yes murphy killed Bellamy, but we aren't going to let him die In vain! we will survive and tell stories of Bellamy and make sure he and we live on" Clarke yelled into the group.

everyone nodded and went back to work because its what Bellamy would want for them. Clarke walked over to the tent she shared with raven and Octavia and laid down, she couldn't bring her self to start the tapes tonight. "damm you " she yelled in the air at John, Clarke never was ever this angry but she couldn't help it.

*the next morning*

it still didn't feel right without Bellamy running things, but she knew she had to step up and do what she believed Bellamy would do with her reasons as well. Octavia hadn't left the camp since Bellamy's death yesterday, she saw Lincoln look from behind the walls.

"excuse me," she said to Finn and snuck out with a knife by her side, "Lincoln? " he nodded and looked around which made Clarke sigh. "she's not coming," Clarke said and sat down on a log which he followed, "can I ask why?" he finally spoke up. Clarke took a deep breath but couldn't stop crying as he turned and faced him,

"her brother was killed by one of our yesterdays, shes grieving" he went and hugged her but she thanked him before heading back in camp. Tomorrow she would watch what Bellamy left for her, but it didn't mean she could handle it alone.

that's why she was going to run this camp with Octavia, it felt right-ruling it with a blake and she wanted to keep checking in on her and help her move on as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke learns that running a camp isn't easy, but thankfuly octavia is here helping her doing what her brother use to do.

They never had given a funeral both since coming down here, but Octavia made sure that her brother got the best one. Most of the camp was here because Bellamy was a leader and a friend, and the next time anyone saw Murphy they were going to make him pay.

Clarke never saw how hard it was to run a camp and be a leader, she never saw how grateful Bellamy did it with her. But how was she to do it now work him gone, Clarke hoped the tapes he left would help her out.

"Finn stay with Octavia, and raven make sure we have a grave in here for people to visit," she said as she walked back into the dropship, everyone was helping out with this funeral or writing things to put in a can they would bury with him.

Clarke made a promise that they would carry Bellamy's body to the final place where they meet everyone else, so until then a grave would have to do.

"Clarke? Can I do something?" Octavia had come in with Finn and was looking at her, "just rest okay? It's not easy losing someone " she said and pulled her in for a hug. *2 hours later*

Everyone was going to the grave and burying the cans, Octavia was burying her head into jaspers shoulder. she finally started to like Bellamy and he was one of her close friends, she didn't want to believe he was gone but that made her all the madder at John Murphey.

she waited until everyone went back to work until Clarke walked up to the grave with her can in hand. she felt Octavia sit down beside her. they both felt tears come down as Clarke put hers in and covered it up. "Guys! Who's watching the food?" Clarke asked as she stood up, Finn raised his hand with.

Clarke nodded and walked around camp, she saw Finn was giving her looks. Before this happened they could have tried a relationship, but losing Bellamy it destroyed her in ways she never even knew.

"Mill stays with Octavia, David I want you on the wall you to jasper, " Clarke said as she pulled the bag around her head. Tomorrow she was going to watch these tapes, Bellamy made them for her for a certain reason.

But she didn't have time to do it now, as jasper came running up. "We need to get everyone inside now," he said as he pointed to the sky, Clarke nodded and ran to get everyone. It was a lot of work for her to do by herself, but unfortunately, she was the sole leader now.

"Is everyone in?" She asked as the door closed, Finn nodded and slide down. Clarke eventually sat down next to him, "Clarke we need to talk about us " Finn said as they waited for the air to be okay again. "There is no us," she said as she looked down in her bag, But she was pulled out of her thoughts when Octavia sat down beside her.

"Hey the air is okay again, it didn't last long," she said and went to open the door, Clarke let everyone else go first and she eventually went upstairs to where Bellamy's body was. Somehow it wasn't smelling because of the Monty made, but eventually, they would have to bury him.

"I'll look out after your sister bell, how did you run this camp?" She asked as she curled up her legs, she wished she could have stayed inside of being captured. Then maybe Bellamy would be alive right now, Clarke knew she couldn't change the past but that didn't mean she didn't hate herself for losing Bellamy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke discovers that Bellamy has left her 13 tapes and knows show will have to watch every one, but she would hope they would help pick up the pieces.

it has finally been a day where no one was in threat, but they didn't mean they would let their guard down. Clarke made sure to have jasper and Finn on the Guarding, she was sitting in her tent looking down at the camera. 

The last few words Bellamy ever said, would be on these tapes. She knew in a few minutes that Octavia would come in and they would start, but was she ready to see his face? . Clarke heard her names being called and walked out of the tent, Octavia ran over and hugged her before smiling and walking in the tent. 

"You ready?" She asked as she joined Octavia on the sleeping bad, Octavia Blake shook her head and sighed. "I lost my brother days ago and I'm about to see him I just it's hard," she said, Clarke pulled her in for a hug and laid the bag down gently. Neither of them was ready to see Bellamy's face again, but she could understand where Octavia was coming from . 

But she had hated Bellamy from the drop till they went out to get supplies, were they friends or was there something more happening between them? .Clarke didn't know but she knew it was too late to change anything now, she took out the first tape and hit play as she sat down next to Octavia

~

_**Bellamy Blake looked down at the camera, he smiled as he went down into the dropship. "** Let's do this **" he whispered as he set it up and made sure everyone was doing their work, Bellamy turned on the camera and was recording.  
**_

_**"** Hey this is Bellamy Blake, I'm recording this for Clarke so if you're not Clarke stop watching **" he stopped for a breath and changed how he was sitting and looked back at the camera.** "Clarke, if you're watching this then either something happened to me or you went through my stuff **" Bellamy chuckled,**  
_

_"if I'm dead don't blame yourself, either Murphy or the grounders are too. Clarke you are the leader now, trust your heart and your head and do what's right for our people " **he sighed and looked down at his hands. Bellamy heard Murphy coughing outside,** "I don't know he's still here, but look Clarke promise me to look after Octavia. I should get going but I'm not done making these my princess **" Bellamy smiled before shutting down the camera.**_

~

Clarke closed the camera when the first tape had ended , tomorrow would be the other side and she looked over at Octavia. "I miss him so much," Octavia said as she hugged Clarke, she didn't fight it and hugged her back. "He was taken too soon " she whispered and nodded with Octavia, Clarke finally pulled back and put the camera away. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> side b of tape 1 has reached its viewing time, but clarke not sure that she can handle seeing his face again.

"Tomorrow we will watch the other part okay? " she asked a sniffing Octavia, she nodded and said goodbye to her, Clarke pulled the bag over her shoulder and went outside the tent where she bumped into Finn. 

"Hey, how was the first tape?" He asked as she walked around the camp, "how do you think?! He's gone Finn Bellamy was supposed to run this with me " she left him standing there. Clarke walked over to Harper who was trying to help build the wall that was torn,

"Hey let me help " she whispered. Harper nodded and stepped back, "I miss him too, he made me feel like I was part of the family," she told Clarke before leaving. Clarke couldn't hold it in as she burst out crying, "Bellamy " was all she said as Finn ran and pulled her into a hug.

*the next day *

A grounder had been seen so everyone was on high alert, Clarke hadn't slept since yesterday and Finn kept trying to get her to sleep. She kept swearing she saw a blood Bellamy in her mind, but raven kept saying it just regret and the blame.

Later today she would watch the tape with Octavia but she wasn't ready, but she did promise to herself that as soon as she saw Muphey she would kill him. "Clarke? Where are you ?" She heard Octavia ask for her, she walked out of the tent and called her over and they both sat down to watch the tape.

~

_**Bellamy flopped over a chair and sat down, his eyes were red from crying. "** So Octavia Still Hates me for what I did to the grounder, will she ever forgive me, Clarke ?" **He sniffed on the camera. Bellamy was playing with his hands as the camera kept rolling,**  
_

_"you can do this Clarke, I know you will be a better leader than I ever was " **he whispered as the door opened.**_ "Bellamy? Miller needs you _**" Monty's voice appeared,** "until next time Clarke " **he smiled and turned off the camera.**_

~

"Clarke! The grounders are here " Finn yelled out, she turned off the camera and put it back in her bag. "Okay shooters on the wall, everyone else in the dropship now!" Clarke yelled as she stood outside. 

She hoped Bellamy was right and she could do this, "Octavia stays with Finn, shooters are they here ?" She asked as she ran up to the wall, 

Jasper shook his head but kept on the lookout. Clarke picked up the little ax that Bellamy always carried, it was a way of keeping him with her at all times 24/7.

Finally, after a few minutes, it seemed they were all in the clear, but she kept two shooters on the wall Incase. Octavia tended to anyone hurt in the panic, Clarke never wanted this but she couldn't change it. 

She looked over to her left and saw Bellamy standing there, "bell?" But when she shook her head and he was gone. 

"Clarke what do we do? We need food " Finn said pulling her out of her head, she didn't want this but it was up to her now. "Okay we will send out two teams, everyone else stays here," she said as she walked over to him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its time for the talk with the parents which was something she avoided, but maybe tape 2 sides a had some tips for Clarke.

The ark had sent a message down to the radio after communications were good, Clarke was still angry at her mom but she knew she had to talk to her. "Clarke honey " Abby had started but Clarke raised her hand, 

"I'm not forgiving you but mom Bellamy died," she said quietly. She just wanted her mom to say it would be okay or something else, "Bellamy Blake? Honey I."Was all Abby said ,

that's when Clarke stood up . "What? Say that he deserved it?! I wouldn't be here still if he hadn't run this camp " she turned off the headphones and walked out of the tent .

She took some deep breaths and saw Octavia was staring at the tree again , she knew that she was expecting Lincoln or her brother to suddenly appear. "Clarke, did I hear you yell at your mom?" Octavia said as she turned around, Clarke nodded and sat down beside her .

Running a camp was hard but Octavia and Finn were helping her, "why? She's your family" Octavia took her hand. "She spoke about Bellamy like he deserved his death, " Clarke said she as she patted her bag, Octavia even started to feel the same way as her. 

"Clarke, can we watch the next tape? I miss seeing his face " Octavia said as she stood up, Clarke nodded and they started to walk over to the tent. Finn was coming up with another plan on defense and food plans, Clarke smiles at him before they climbed in their tent. "I'm sorry I hated your brother, he's really changed my life,"

she said as she sat down on the sleeping bag, Octavia was silent before looking over at her. "The last feeling I had to him was I hated him and now I'm never going to get to hug him again " Octavia as Clarke pulled out the camera.

~

 **Bellamy came in with no shirt as he just woke up, he sat down in front of the camera.** " _Welcome to the second tape Clarke , I can see how much you dislike me. But not everyone can be like Finn now can we?"_ **He sighed and used his fingers to comb his hair.**

 _"Look Clarke by now I truly believe I'm dead because you wouldn't know where I sleep "_ **Bellamy sighed and could hear Clarke's and Finns kissing outside, he looked so broken as he turned back to the camera** _"until the next time griffin "_ **and shut it down.**

~

Clarke stopped before putting it away and she looked at Octavia, "was your brother jealous of me and Finn?". Octavia shrugged and looked silent before looking up , "if he felt something for you and didn't say anything, Bellamy had his reasons ". 

The both of them walked out and went over to the middle of the camp , Clarke knew what the next step for the day. She saw Finn giving her soft looks but It didn't matter to her , what Bellamy did on the first side of the second tape was on her mind. *the next day *


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "in another life, I would make your stay so I don't have to say that you were the one that got away"

Clarke had taken Octavia and Finn with her on one team and butJasper and Miller and Harper on the other . It was time to get food and they had to be careful, Finn tried to grab her hand as they were walking .

But Octavia stepped in between them and smiled, "let's get food so we can get back to camp " she chuckled. Finn sighed and looked over at Clarke ,

who gave him angry looks before looking around their surroundings. Octavia finally stopped them both and pointed to her left, "guys there, let's go " she said pointing to a deer.

Luckily they all made it back to camp with food, without seeing a single grounder. Clarke didn't want to watch the other side of the second tape, Incase the grounders attacked , but Finn promised to send for her if they did . 

That's why she and Octavia were now sitting hugging in the tent, but before they saw Bellamy's face again . Clarke thought about her and Finn and then how she felt when Bellamy had died, she hated herself but it was because she couldn't save him. As she played the tape, Clarke didn't stop the tears from coming.

~

**Bellamy had come back to the camera and hit play, he was covered in blood and bruises.** _"So I got a thank you from Finn for making fun of his outfit "_ **he chuckled and wipe his face, Bellamy smiled and tilted his head** _"if Octavia wants to see the grounder, let her as long as you go because one of us deserves a happy ending "_

**Bellamy blew a kiss before looking away with hurt. He stood up and held something in his hand, he looked back at the camera and smiled** _"goodbye Clarke, be happy for me please "._

~

It was nighttime when they heard noises, Clarke couldn't sleep so she was on the wall with jasper . She had Bellamy's words on her mind as she looked around, was it unfair that Murphey got to live while they lost bell?.

"Clarke? Will we ever see Bellamy again?" Jasper asked, she looked over at him and nodded "we will one day " she smiled and held him close.

She forgot that Bellamy risked his life for jasper, "Hey you are still here because of him, and for that, I'll be forever grateful " she kissed his forehead and turned to the trees.

Octavia was throwing sticks at Finn who was trying to get her to clean up, she never knew how her brother or Clarke ever put up with him . "o come on " that made her stopped and she punched him,

"BELLAMY IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CALLS ME That!" She yelled and stormed into the tent, Clarke ran over and looked at Finn . "Seriously? Don't " jasper went to take care of Finn while Clarke went to go check on Octavia. "Hey " she started but Octavia just burst into tears, "I thought I was fine but I can't do this without him " Clarke just pulled her into a hug .


	8. tape 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the main ship was coming day and the camp wanted to clear Bellamy name, but would they be able to the man Bellamy shot?

Today was the day the ark was sending a ship down, everyone but Clarke was excited about it. It didn't seem fair to be happy when they lost a lot of good people, she knew what would be on Octavia's mind today. Bellamy Blake was still guilty of shooting Jaha, Clarke's mind was trying to get his name Cleared.

That's why she hopes today's side of tape 3 would give them something, Clarke really did like Finn but there was always something holding her back from him .

He was a great guy in many ways, but someone else was always on her mind. "Bellamy Blake " she felt herself toss and turn in her sleep, Clarke finally was able to go to sleep.

But Bellamy Blake was on her mind once again, she turned to her left and he was laying there. "Why didn't you save me?" Bellamy asked, she felt tears come to her eyes, and then she was woken up. 

Octavia had come to check in on her, "Hey you okay?" She asked as she sat straight up. Clarke nodded and looked around, " we need to watch the tape," she said. Octavia looked around and nodded, it was early but they all needed answers.

~  
 **It was raining outside so everyone was on the lower level, Bellamy made sure everyone was there before he walked up to the second floor and turned on the camera.** _"Hey, Clarke another day on earth right? I remember when you and I didn't get along, you kept asking why I wanted the wrist bands off ."_

 **He started but went quiet , he knew by now everyone knew what he had done .** _" I shot Jaha not for myself but for Octavia, I couldn't let her go alone. But I was offered a deal, by someone to shot the Jaha "_ **Bellamy whispered, he didn't want anyone else to hear the name.** " _Stay Away from Shumway_ " **was all Bellamy said before turning off the camera .**

~  
Clarke and Octavia stared at each other, "wait so Shumway was the one. We can clear his name" Clarke said with all happiness. She wasn't happy though, Bellamy was gone but they had a chance to make him free again.

"You need to go run this camp right now, I'll make sure we do this Clarke " Octavia finally spoke up again. She nodded and put away the camera, life had to go on and that meant carrying on.

Grounder!" Miller yelled which made Clarke run through daylight to the fence, she saw the flower and knew what it was. "Miller its a false alarm, get everyone back to work," she said as she climbed down. He nodded and did as he was told, but Clarke told Finn to stay on alert and as she snuck out to meet Lincoln.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never wanted to hide this, but if you knew the truth clarke it would make you run"
> 
> -  
> or the one where where its time for Tape 4

"What's going on?" She asked as they stood behind some trees, Lincoln handed her a book "tell her that her brother can't be at peace yet, not till you guys let him go " and with That, he was gone and she headed back to camp. 

*two days later *

Clarke was sitting outside the walls with a gun on her lap, she was looking down at wells grave. "I wish you were here to give me advice " she played with a little toy that Bellamy made for her when they become friends before his death. 

"See I like this guy Finn a lot but there was something between me and Bellamy and now Bellamy is gone, I wish I could have told him " she whispered not knowing raven had joined her, soon Octavia joined them as well.

"You know my brother would have told us, that together we can do anything " she hugged them both, Clarke just wiped her eyes and looked over at them. "Raven do you want to watch the second side of the 3rd tape with us?" She asked, but raven shook her head,

"no, he made that for you. I'll watch the camp go " Raven said as she opened the gate for them, Clarke smiled and hugged her before going in the tent. Octavia held her hand and smiled, "my brother would have love to see this " she whispered them joined Clarke in the tent.

Clarke was sitting outside the walls with a gun on her lap, she was looking down at wells grave. "I wish you were here to give me advice " she played with a little toy that Bellamy made for her when they become friends before his death. 

"See I like this guy Finn a lot but there was something between me and Bellamy and now Bellamy is gone, I wish I could have told him " she whispered soon Octavia joined them as well. 

"You know my brother would have told us, that together we can do anything " she hugged them both, Clarke just wiped her eyes and looked over at them. 

~

Bellamy came in the camera's view, he finally told Monty why he was doing this. He hoped he could trust Monty not to tell her, he sat down with his hand covered in a white cloth. "Hi Clarke, if Octavia is here with you then Hi O" he smiled and adjusted his seating, it was about time to get comfortable.

he knew this tape would be one that Clarke needed to hear, and if she didn't like it well he was already dead. " Clarke, stop blaming yourself, you can not save everyone" he whispered before shutting off the camera.

~

Clarke turned and looked at her, and yet they both knew he was being right and they should listen to him.

and that's why as soon as they put everything away, Clarke would try and place new rules out there at camp.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'nothing will ever change how I feel, not death nor grounders'

Clarke and flipped over to the other side of the tape, this one was just for her which didn't make sense for her. since when did Bellamy not let his sister watch these, but she hit play and laid down on the bed.

~

"The main reason I did this was that I wanted to help you run the camp but now it's because it's the only way I can say how I feel " Bellamy whispered, Clarke was downstairs taking care of Raven's sore hand.

"See Clarke I fell for you, I tried not too but who could resist that face? But you never saw me any more than an ass" he chuckled and heard his name called, Bellamy waved bye and turned off the camera.

~

Octavia looked over and saw Clarke's face, her brother just admitted how he felt about Clarke. "Hey, you okay?" She asked knowing the answer, Clarke started to cry and looked over at her.

"He loved me but couldn't tell me because I saw him as a dick then I was with Finn " Clarke sniffed and didn't fight Octavia's hug. "Hey listen, my brother would always love you and do whatever took to make you and me happy.

So let's be happy, let's keep my brother's memory alive through saving this camp" she whispered,

Clarke nodded and put away the camera as she walked out to the middle of the camp. But on her mind, she couldn't help but think, what would have happened if Bellamy had told her.

Would they be together? Or would she have broken his heart ?, Clarke went over to the tent where Bellamy always slept. She saw a dream of him and her sleeping here together, "we will meet again " she closed the tent opening.

The battle of the grounders was in a few days, Clarke was running left and right to try and save the camp. Miller was getting everyone all ready while jasper stayed on the lookout, Clarke made sure she had the bag and cleaned out the tent.

"Guys they are here !" Jasper yells and jumped down, "to the dropship now," Clarke said as everyone tried to run. She stood by the door as Finn was in the bushes, Octavia stood by her and looked out. She knew that Clarke was waiting for Bellamy to run out, "we need to close the door " Octavia said and shook Clarke.

She mouthed I'm sorry to Finn and stepped back into the dropship, Finn nodded and fought his hardest. Finn and jasper hid in the bushes as the grounders leader searched outside of the camp, Jasper kept looking at his wristband before crying.

"Bellamy would have loved to kill some grounders," he told Finn, but Finn just stayed silent and told jasper to be quiet. Meanwhile, Clarke was sitting near the door with Octavia and they didn't know how long they would be in here, but it was time for the 5th tape.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke wakes up in a strange room and she isnt fooled by kindess, but what if thats what it really was.

Finally, the noise calmed down and they waited a few minutes to open the door, Clarke hid the bag under her shirt as she walked out.

But that's when they saw pink mist and everyone started to pass out, Clarke heard miller then Octavia screams as she fell and closed his eyes. But hours later she woke up in a white room, Clarke saw the bag was cleaned and was on the table.

But she saw all the tapes were still there and the ones she hadn't seen weren't used, but then her mind wonder where they were.

Who had kidnapped them and where they were, Clarke banged on the door trying to get anyone's attention.

A girl named Maya came in to check on her, Clarke put on her bag and pushed Maya against the wall. 

"Where am I?! Where are my friends ?!" She didn't mean to scream at her, the girl seemed to calm down and open the door.

Clarke grabbed her and dragged her down the hall, "where am I?" She asked as she pushed her into a new hall.

"Please don't hurt me " Maya pleaded as they got everyone's attention, Clarke let her go and stared at everyone. She may not know where she was, but she would save her friends from this place.

Octavia was laughing and play a game with Monty, Clarke sat away from them with her bag. Octavia looked up at her and nodded,

the nod was telling Clarke to watch this one without her. Clarke excused herself back to the room of the 48, she opened the camera and put the 4th tape in it.

She noticed that there was only one side to this one, Clarke thought that was odd but she put in the tape anyway. She knew this place was great whatever it was, but it wasn't home for her.

~

Bellamy didn't know how much of these tapes he was going to make, he knew that he was about on the 4th one.

"Hey Clarke, so these are like my wills kinda " he chuckled and sat down, he knew that soon Finn and Clarke would get back from their mission.

"So I know any day now is the attack from the grounders, so this tape is just for that " he sighed and picked up the camera. "If you think you're not safe, then fight Clarke do it for me," he said and turned off the camera.

~

She sighed as she leaned against the wall, if Bellamy was here then he would do whatever it takes to get out of this place.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "if your leaving, then i am going with you"  
> -  
> Clarke and Octavia try escaping from the place keeping them if this is the time to be strong then so be it.

~

She put away the camera and packed the rest of her stuff, but that's when Octavia came here. "Clarke what did the tape say? Are we safe here? Did bell know?" She asked as she sat down on the bed. 

Clarke shook her head and looked around, "he told me to trust my gut and said if it didn't feel safe then to fight it " . 

Octavia stood up and grabbed her hands, "if my brother said that then that's what we must do "

she smiled and went to her bunk and did the same. The two of them stopped when Maya was in their room, she turned on the music and faced them. 

"I want to help you escape , I want to do what's right . " she said to them , Octavia nodded and handed her the book Clarke found .

"Once you get out , go find help and come back to this place " maya said as she drew them the map . 

"Where are we?" Clarke finally said as maya opened the door , "mount weather " maya said as she walked out .

Clarke couldn't believe the place that they were supposed to find , had kidnapped them, and was doing whatever to them .

Clarke and Octavia didn't get far when they saw two grounders, Clarke sighed and looked over at her. "got any plans?" she whispered not trying to get their attention,

Octavia grabbed her hand and made a run for it. the grounders didn't even seem to notice them , which Clarke was thankful for but hen begged the question. where would they go? the only answer would be the drop ship but that's when Octavia saw Kane lifting up Finn and Jasper.

she shook Clarke and pointed in that direction, Clarke thre a rock and it landed near her moms feet.

it made Abby and kane stand on alert and also got finn and jaspers attention, "come out with your hands or we will shoot" Kaane said with a loud and firm voice.

Clarke and Octavia walked out with their hands up, her mom smiled and went to hug her. but Clarke stepped back and ran to finn and jasper, 

"Clarke honey " Abby started but Clarke stood up as Octavia checked on their friends.

"no first you kill dad then you said those things about bellamy! he was my friend mom" Clarke said as she crossed her arms and looked over at kane.

Abby sighed and walked with her back to the group , she wanted to have that relationship with her daughter again . 

Clarke was wearing a bag and Abby saw that she never took it off , "Clarke is that from the grounders ?" Kane had beat her to the question. 

"No! This is the last thing Bellamy made and I'm keeping it " she scoffed and focused on making sure jasper and Finn were okay . 

luckily It wasn't raining this night so Clarke was sitting up near a tree, she saw Octavia laying on her bags not far from her. "she doesn't know that you keep seeing me, does she?" Clarke heard a voice and turned around to see bellamy there.

"are you alive? please don't lie to me" she whispered , Bellamy smiled and walked around the tree.

"no im dead, but you haven't been able to let me go" he finally said and stood near his sister, Clarke felt a tear roll down her cheek "losing you was the hardest on her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to get their people back, even if she was still angry at her mom. Clarke was determined to get them back because you don't leave people behind because they're the hard choice.

Kane looked over at Abby who sighed and walked next to Octavia to see how she was doing , Abby couldn't imagine losing a brother like Octavia had gone though.

once they arrived to camp jaha Clarke and Octavia wanted to avoid medical but abby was firm, she did let them use the stuff in bellamys bag if they stayed in the tent.

Clarke sat up and waved Octavia over, she opened the bag and pulled out the camera. Her mom was sitting outside the tent but eventually left knowing Clarke would want some privacy. Octavia pulled out the next tape and tried not to cry,

She never thought that she would outlive her big older brother and she handed Clarke the tape. ~

Bellamy was laying in front of the camera but wasn't talking, he just made noises with his mouth for a few mintues.

"you know how crazy it is? when we landed you hated me but now we are just two people who are friends" Bellamy chuckled to himself, he was holding the small axe in his hand as he looked at the camera again.

"the moment I fell for you was when you told me I wasn't a monster and that you forgave me" he spoke quietly, but bellamy saw tears run down his face and turned off the camera.

~

"movement on the south wall" Brynn yelled which got their attention, Clarke quietly jumped down and ran outside. finn and jasper were sound asleep in the ship, but it was nothing and brnn told everyone to go back to work.

it made Clarke remember when bellamy was alive and he ran the camp, she chuckled and remerber their talks. "hey ? you okay after that?' Octavia asked as they walked into the ship, Clarke nodded and held onto to the bag.

she knew that it was time to forgiver her mom about her dad, but she wasn't going to forgive for she said about bellamy.

*two days later*

Since everything stayed quiet and they hadn't found a way to get into mountain weather yet , there wasn't much Clarke was being allowed to do .

She rewatched the 5th tape and wished she could have knew before he died, she was going to find Murphy then they were going to kill him .

He took a leader a brother and a hero from her and Octavia, and he got to breathe while Bellamy was gone . "Clarke pack your bags , my brother would want us to stop at nothing to bring them home " Octavia said , Clarke nodded and packed a bag.

months ago she had made a jacket out of some leaves and bellamy laughed at her, but he wore it anyway, Clarke smiled at the memory as Jasper helped them take down the fence.

"don't come home till you bring our friends" he whispered and was gone, Octavia looked over at Clarke who was holding onto to a gun and was focused on the road ahead. "Clarke lets set up camp" she whispered, which got her friends attention and she got a nod from her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "ill always miss you even when it doesnt seem that way"

luckily It wasn't raining this night so Clarke was sitting up near a tree, she saw Octavia laying on her bags not far from her. "she doesn't know that you keep seeing me, does she?" Clarke heard a voice and turned around to see bellamy there.

"are you alive? please don't lie to me" she whispered , Bellamy smiled and walked around the tree. "no im dead, but you haven't been able to let me go" he finally said and stood near his sister, Clarke felt a tear roll down her cheek "losing you was the hardest on her.

"Clarke? are you okay? Octavia's voice pulled her head to her, she nodded and looked around didn't see bellamy. she sighed and walked over to her, "we should get going, by now my mom knows" she said and looked around.

but that's when they heard the horn and quickly got up and ran, they didn't stop until they reached a tree and climbed inside.

"Clarke did you get any sleep?" Octavia aske as they waited for the fog to go by, she didn't answer but just shook her head and looked down. how was she too tell Octavia on why she couldn't sleep, "its gone we should go Clarke" Octavia finally broke the quietness as she stood up .

Clarke was leaning against the tree as Octavia was just waking up , "what makes you think this Lexa person will help us?" . Octavia stood up and walked over to her , "I don't but her army could help us get into mount weather " Octavia said as she packed up theirs bags .

Clarke looked over to he left and saw Bellamy giving her the look , "just go " she accidentally said out loud. "What?" Clarke turned and saw Octavia looking at her , "are you okay Clarke? " she put on her back and walked over to her.

"Octavia I'm seeing him , everywhere I go " she finally whispered, her friend touched her shoulder and looked around "seeing who? "bellamy" Clake finally whispered, she buried her head in her hands as she sat at the base of tree.

"your seeing my brother everywhere?" Octavia asked as she sat down by her friend, Clarke just nodded and Octavia tapped the tape.

"you will see him until you finish these tapes, only then can you let him go" She held her hand and then got up to see if anyone followed them. Clarke pulled out the camera and knew Octavia was right, she couldn't let him go till she finished these tapes.

~

Bellamy was sitting near one of the fences and was holding the camera, he smiled and placed his lose hair behind his ear.

"hey Clarke so you and just left apparently to get food, I trust you I don't know why but I do" he chuckled to himself, he looked up and pointed the camera at Octavia and Jasper having a dirt war.

"im glad my sister is so happy, I never thought I would see that again" he replied with hurt in his voice, Bellamy faked smiled and turned off the camera once again.

~

it was then Clarke knew for a fact that something wasnt right, maybe they were being followed . or maybe she could still feel his spirit, which sounded crazy but it is what she felt every day since his death.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its the first meeting with the new commander, and Clarke just hopes that it goes better then the meeting on the bridge.

It was silent on the way to the commanders tent , Clarke kept repeating in her mind . What she had seen on the first side of the tape , She took a deep breath and saw Octavia pull back the curtain .

Clarke didn't think she would have to go alone , "I'll be fine Octavia " she said and walked through the big tent .

Lexa was sitting on her throne when Clarke walked in , "and how can I help Clarke of the sky people?" She asked and stood up , Clarke adjusted her bag and looked up at this grounder .

"I want to make a deal" Clarke said and stood right in front of her .

Lexa mentioned for Octavia to come in and she walked down from her throne, "why would I make a deal with you?". Clarke opened her mouth when Octavia stepped forward, "my brother believed in a future and we want to honor that".

Lexa nodded and looked around , "I understand wanting to honor someone you loved" she walked over to Octavia and took a deep breath . "You guys have your deal, return to your people "

and with that they were shown up , but Clarke ran back and walked to her "thank you for this ". She got a nod from the commander and went to join Octavia outside , she wish Bellamy could have seen this .

He may not have liked it but he would have loved the change , Clarke wrapped her arms around Octavia as they made their way back to camp .

Her mom may be mad at her , but Clarke would do anything for her friends . "Hey it will be okay " Her friend told her as they made the long way back, Clarke looked behind her and saw Bellamy standing there .

"I wish I could have fallen for you before you were gone " she whispered and turned around , Octavia looked at where Clarke once looked and she whispered "I got her big bro ".

Lexa mentioned for Octavia to come in and she walked down from her throne, "why would I make a deal with you?". Clarke opened her mouth when Octavia stepped forward, "my brother believed in a future and we want to honor that".

Lexa nodded and looked around , "I understand wanting to honor someone you loved" she walked over to Octavia and took a deep breath .

"You guys have your deal, return to your people " and with that they were shown up , but Clarke ran back and walked to her "thank you for this ". She got a nod from the commander and went to join Octavia outside , she wish Bellamy could have seen this . He may not have liked it but he would have loved the change ,

Clarke wrapped her arms around Octavia as they made their way back to camp . Her mom may be mad at her , but Clarke would do anything for her friends . "Hey it will be okay " Her friend told her as they made the long way back,


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke cant do it anymore watching those tapes , its killing her so she wants to let him go.
> 
> but how does one let someone go? thats something clarke would need to find out.

Clarke looked behind her and saw Bellamy standing there . "I wish I could have fallen for you before you were gone " she whispered and turned around ,

Octavia looked at where Clarke once looked and she whispered "I got her big bro ". Clarke held onto the bag tighter as they walked to the camp gates , her mom had a disappointment look on her face .

She walked straight to the tent promising her mom , that she would talk to her later . She wanted to watch the other side and hear how voice ,

then she wanted to fall asleep after a long day . She laid down on the bed that was made , Clarke held the camera in her hands as she placed the tape in.

-

Hey Princess, don't know how much longer it will be till the ark comes down " Bellamy was walking around camp , he was getting glares from Finn but he didn't care . "What if jaha only pardon me so I would stay and then he kills me?"

He sighed and leaned against one of the walls , Bellamy could see Clarke taking care of people and he felt his face blush . "Look griffin whatever you got yourself into , I believe you will do whatever it takes to save our people " Bellamy stood up and started to walk over to drop shop , he looked down and tilted his head before turning off the camera.  
~

She didn't mean to sleep for as long as she did , it wasn't unr Abby walked in did Clarke wake up . "Honey we need to talk about what you did " her mom said as she pulled up a seat next to her , Clarke saw she wasn't alone and had Kane with her . "We got a deal with the grounders mom , the commander is meeting us soon to discuss it "

Clarke tried to reason work her , "honey I know you don't trust me so let me say this . Octavia cares about you , and she lost her brother don't make her lose you too ". Clarke finally walked out and was hugged by raven who had been injured , she hugged her back and looked around . "Where's Finn and jasper ?" She asked as she put on her jacket , Raven pointed to a tent "it's game night " she tried to make a joke .

Clarke ran over and pulled them in a hug , "we save everyone I promise " . She looked over and finally decided she was ready to let Bellamy go , he would always have a place in her heart but Clarke couldn't keep his spirit here .

tonight was the night that Clarke was finally letting bellamy's spirit go, she was only on the 7th tape but she didn't want to keep him trapped here. that's why She was sitting near the edge of camp alone, she held the camera and the 7th tape in her hands.

Clarke didn't move or even try to watch the tape yet,tomorrow her mom and kane would meet with lexa about the deal. She looked over and saw Bellamys spirit whisper I loved you before vanishing, "you loved me too soon and I loved you too late' She whispered before she felt tears come to her eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "everything comes naturally to you" she whispered to a cross buried on the ground.
> 
> -  
>  clarke returns to the ark after a long hard way of saying goodbye to a almost lover, or a long time friend.

Octavia was running and playing with some of the kids from the ark, but she saw Clarke crying near a fence post. She excused herself from the game and started to walk over to her, losing her bother was hard on them but she never saw Clarke like this.

As she sat down and placed her hand on clarkes shoulder, Clarke looked up at her and opened the camera "I cant do this without you" she whispered. Octavia looked over at finn who sighed and walked away, "alright griffin lets do it" She smiled and opened the camera.

~  
Bellamy was laying on his side , he was throwing up rocks in the air . "Well welcome to the 7th tape " he sighed and finally sat up , "Clarke I'm about to tel you something important so listen up " he looked around before looking at the camera .

"Listen to your gut okay? If something feels off leave don't care if it's safety they are promising , trust me on this " Bellamy sighed And laid down .

He was about to speak when he was being called , "goodbye Clarke and remember just because you are beautiful don't mean you can't be the great leader " he turned off the camera and ran out .

-

It was silent as the two girls laid down on the grass , eventually Clarke was awaken by raven coming over . "Hey You both are needed inside " she said and ran off, Clarke Woke up Octavia and the two shortly was inside .

  
"Two days ago a deal was reached with the commander, from now on we will only answer to Clarke Griffin as our leader " Abby said with anger , she didn't want her daughter at the front of all of this . Clarke didn't look surprised but stood up , "back to work , I will meet with the commander tonight ". She was in the weapons room getting ready for her trip , Clarke agreed to take Kane and Jasper with her . Tonight was just about making sure the plan was sealed , Clarke carried her fathers watch and Bellamy's bag with her as she stepped out of the ark .

  
"Ready to go team?" She asked as the door was shut , Kane nodded and handed all of them the weapons. "We trust you Clarke , do what's best for arkadia " Jasper said as the walked to the front of the gate , She took deep breaths and waved bye to Octavia and her mom.

It was might fall when they set up camp , Clarke was wide awake as Kane and jasper were sleeping . She turned from them and pulled out the camera, Clarke was hoping that her Bellamy would give some advice.

She prayed the sound wouldn't wake them up , Clarke was another to watch when she heard noise in the background. "Who's there ?" She whispered as not to make noise


	18. Chapter 18

but when she heard no answer back. Clarke Laid down again and pulled out the camera once again, she put in the tape and waited a few seconds before hitting the play.

~

Bellamy came in the view of the camera with blood tickling down his face , "don't worry Princess just a wild animal attack". He said as he wipes it away , Bellamy was silent for awhile. "I don't know where you are right now Clarke , but I know you will do what's right .

It's what I love about you " he smiled, Bellamy shifted his seating and held the camera at a different angle . " Clarke griffin my Princess, leader and hero " he whispered for only her to hear , Bellamy finally stood up and took one last smile before turning off the camera.

~

"Time to go" jasper said as she had fallen asleep after the watch , she nodded and helped them pack up the small camp . 

"Remember to let me do the talking okay?" Kane nodded and took the bags , so jasper and Clarke could use the weapons to protect them .

It wasn't long till they arrived at polis again , Clarke handed jasper her gun and walked up to Indra . "We are here to see Lexa as promised " she whispered , Indra nodded and opened the door just for her .

Clarke told them it was okay and walked inside , she saw Lexa sitting on her throne.

"I'm glad you came , tell me what else you want about this truce " Lexa said and walked them over to the couch , Clarke stayed silent but followed her over there .

" I just want my people to be safe " she started but Lexa raised her hand , "you lost someone that was very important to you didn't you?" She asked Clarke ,

Clarke sighed and nodded "his name was Bellamy and he was family " she didn't even see tears come to her eyes.

"Go home , rest and when you are ready to move on come back here and we finalize the truce " Lexa Stood up and walked out one of the doors .

Clarke eventually walked back to Kane and jasper , she would never want to be in a relationship again . But Lexa was right , she had to move on to finally set Bellamy's soul free and for him to be happy again .

She was silent on the walk home which made jasper walk next to her , "I blamed myself for his death you know?" He whispered, Clarke looked over at him .

"He wouldn't have been in that position, if I didn't get caught " jasper said but he stopped her as they approached the gates , "so don't think your the only one blaming yourself Clarke " he said before walking in.

Clarke had been helping out in the medical bay , so her mother could rest and she could have some time to think . She kept thinking about what jasper said , Clarke stood up as her mother walked back in .


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time for her to step into her role, yes her mom was Jaha now or their ruler . 
> 
> But bellamy chose her to take over , and that’s what she would do .

Finn kept asking about you, he's a sweet guy " she whispered and let Clarke be done for the day.

Clarke Griffin just sighed and went over to where her friends were, Finn was worried about concern as they all met in a circle.

”I'm okay guys I promise " shefinally said and looked over at jasper , "guys I think this truce isn't agood idea , it was on my mind last night . The grounders hate us , willLexa help protect us ?" She sighed , Jasper walked over and grabbed hershoulder .

”Trust your gut Clarke , that's what Bellamy and all of uswould tell you " he said and walked off with Monty , Finn was about toopen his mouth when Octavia walked over .

”Can I watch the next one withyou? I miss seeing his face " Clarke nodded and they left Finn sighingbehind them .

She knew that he cared but she couldn't deal with himright now , her mother gave her a look as she and Octavia walked inClarke's tent .

Lincoln had moved into the camp , which some wereNot sure about . But Octavia was a little happy he was getting alongwith most people, she looked over at Clarke and wish they Bellamy couldhave been friends with him .

”Hey I almost got it set up " Clarke yelledfrom the other side of the camp , Octavia sat the blankets out and satdown on one of the beds .

Clarke came not longer and had set up thecamera , she let Octavia hold as she pressed the play button and wrappedthe blanket around them .

~

Bellamy didn't appear in the cameraview at first , he eventually came and he looked tired . "Hey Clarke ,hows my sister ? Is she still alive?" He asked with a scared voice ,

”Idon't know how much more of these I can do " Bellamy whispered as hewalked himself and the camera back to his own tent . "The more I make islike I'm not going to make it out " he wiped the tears coming down hisface ,

Bellamy didn't say anything again but his face looked so worn andbroken. "Fight for us Clarke , don't ever give up " he whispered beforeturning off the camera.

~

Clarke was speechless as the first side of the tape was finished and Octavia put it away for her , "did you see his face ? He was so tired " she whispered.

That made the younger Blake look up at her, "Hey listen Bellamy was one of the best siblings I could ever ask for, but he always fought for others " she hugged her friend before walking out to greet the others.

Clarke stared where Octavia was, before looking up to the sky, "I hope your happy up there, you deserve it Bellamy


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthdays are always the worst time, especially when the one you are supposed to celebrate is gone .

*three days later *

Shewas with a few of the 100 for some hunting , she never forgot the firsttime she leaned to kill a animal down here .

Clarke was deep in thoughtthat she didn't hear miller walking behind her , she raised the knife"who's Clarke it's just me!" Miller yelled which got her attention. 

“Sorry " she put down the knife and looked around , "where are theothers ?" She asked as he walked closer to her .

“Headed back to camp , Icame looking for you " Miller said and started walking with her ,"sorry we didn't catch anything" she finally told him .

Hermother was folding her arms and was yelling at her , Clarke said she wassorry but was thankful that Octavia and raven came and took her toanother part of camp .

“Clarke I can't watch the other side tonight ,I'm going out with raven " Octavia said as she handed her a new jacketthat she made .

Clarke nodded and they ate their food while watching thesunset , but the other two girls hugged her bye and went off together. 

Clarke made her way over to her bed in their tent , she didn't move forten minutes but finally opened the camera and flipped the tape to theother side .

~

Bellamy came in with no shirt on again , he found himselflaughing. "Finn came to me after I called you princess, told me to backoff his girlfriend "He laughed , "still dating him? Well if he makesyou happy then go for it " Bellamy said but he didn't hear the pain inhis voice .

"The funny thing is, not that I'm jealous of him but that hedoesn't even know how lucky he is " Bellamy whispered for only her tohear , he finally stood up and turned off the camera

~

"Clarke honey?I'm sorry for how I acted I just don't want to lose you " her mom said ,Clarke looked up but then turned around .

“You sorry for killing dad?"She couldn't look at her , but she could hear Bellamy's voice in herhead .

"Mom I'm sorry I forgiven you for everything " Clarke said as sheran and hugged her . Abby has never liked the older Blake ,

but Octaviatold her what Bellamy did to save jasper and Clarke and Abby wished shecould have gotten to know him . "Honey it's okay , just be carefulokay?" Her mom asked , Clarke nodded and pulled back .

She stayedin bed for two hours before walking around camp , she saw her friendssitting and singing around a campfire .

“Hey guys , I got a idea aboutthe truce " she finally said , jasper and mo to looked up at her .

"Clarke what is it?" Octavia said with the most emotion, Clarke hadleaned from her mother . That this weekend was Bellamy's birthday, sheknew it was going to be hard the most on Octavia.

That's why she wasgong to be there for her best friend, "okay it starts with " Clarkestarted to speak .


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "never thought I would do a birthday without you"  
> -  
> Octavia hated this day but she knew it was a way to honor him, or thats what clarke told her so early in the morning.

It only had been a few days since Clarke had told the plan to their small group, jasper and Monty were finding a way to get transportation . Raven was finding a way to get them out of the camp, and her and Octavia were in charge of the rest.

"Clarke get some rest, we will wake you up when its time " Octavia Whispered before walking out of the tent, she didn't even try to fight her as she laid down on the bed. she would wait to watch the next Tape till tomorrow, Clarke prayed that bellamy would give her some advice about letting someone go.

She got about 7 hours of sleep for the first time in months , Clarke almost wanted to sleep more but she knew what had to be done . This journey would take them over a year , but when it was done then their people would be safe for good .

"Octavia, is everyone and everything ready?" She asked as she grabbed Bellamy's bag and her backpack and headed to the fireplace . The younger Blake nodded and opened the door to a new rover made by Monty and Jasper , Clarke left a letter for her mother and climbed in the back way .

Abby Griffin has been I. Surgery all day, so she went to sleep and didn't wake up till after they were long gone .

Clarke kept looking at the window as the camp long faded , Octavia tapped the bag and whispered "it will help past the time " she knew that her friend was putting up walls .

Clarke held her hand and the two shared a tear for the friend who wasn't here anymore , Octavia turned to Monty and jasper as Clarke opened up the camera. She would face the anger of her mom later , right now it was time to face Bellamy's.  
~

Bellamy walked in with a anger look on his face , he walked bakx and forth as he was holding the camera. "No matter what I do from now on, Octavia is mad at me for what I did to the grounder " he sighed and finally sat near a tree ,

some of the 100 were working around him . "Clarke when I'm gone , please keep her safe . I..may not be the best brother but I'll do what it takes to protect those I love " he sighed , his name was called by jasper and he turned off the camera.

~

Octavia looked over and saw Clarke crying whole smiling , she wanted to give her friend space when watching those tapes . She hoped that one day she could make Bellamy proud , that's why Octavia was leading the way her brother would .

But the problem was that she wasn't a leader , Octavia was struggling deep inside . "Clarke you okay?" She shoo her own thoughts away and asked her friend ,

instead of replying to her . Clarke pulled her closer and cried into the shoulder , she just sighed rubbed her backs . "It will all be over soon " Octavia whispered and looked out the window , she didn't know what the future held but they would be alright .


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang goes on a misson together and realizes that its not the same without their fearless leader.

it was not long before they arrived at their first stop, Clarke and Jasper were the only ones awake. she was quiet as she got out to let their contact Indra know, Jasper stayed behind her on alert but he gave her looks to which she just sighed at. *one week later*

She was sad that there was only 1 side to the tape , but as their journey kept going . She listened to the tape again, "Clarke ? We need to set up camp " jasper said . The sun was setting and it wouldn't be long before night was upon them ,

Clarke put away the camera and waited to stand up . The gang stayed close as they unpacked the rover and set up camp , jasper and Clarke took turns being guards .

Around 2 am it was her then again, she patted jasper and sat down on the log . Some butterflies were flying around her , for the first time in awhile Clarke actually felt at peace . She smiled as one landed on her nose , it didn't go away till jasper came to tell her everyone was waking up .

Everyone was on high alert since they all woke up , Clarke came back form her walk to see everyone packing . "Octavia? What happened?" A worried expression came on her face , the younger Blake finished the last of the packing .

"The I've nation tried to attack us , we need to move our camp " She said and opened the door for Clarke . She climbed in and made sure that everyone was accounted for , jasper and mo to were going over the Map. She missed her mom and even missed Finn , but she wasn't going to come back till they finished this mission .

*16 hours later *  
They found another safe place where hopefully the ice nation wouldn't find them , Clarke was sleeping with her head rested on miller's shoulder . "Griffin wake up " Nathan said before shaking her body , she groaned but woke up to their car being stopped .

"Miller are you standing watch with jasper ?" She asked as she stood up , he nodded and climbed out of the truck .

Clarke waited a few more seconds before climbing out after him , they were right next to a lake hidden next to a cave . She wished Bellamy could have been here to see it , he would have been so protective but maybe would have smiled .

Jasper smiled as Miller joined him at the edge of the cave , they both looked over at Clarke who never left the bag alone .

"What's in the bag?" Miller finally asked as they looked straight again , Jasper sighed and held onto the gun .

"Bellamy left tapes for her , she keeps the bag close because it's like Bellamy is with her " he said as he listen to the sounds around them , Nathan looked over at Clarke "Bellamy should be here , it's so unfair Murphy gets to live and we lost Bellamy " he sighed and did the same as jasper .


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the tapes are all she has of him, and when they are done what will clarke of bellamy anymore?

today was the anniversary of when they first landed all those months ago, Jasper was making his special juice. Clarke saw Octavia staying away from the celebrations, she knew how much Bellamy was being missed.

that's why they were doing special, Miller had this idea to throw a toast to their late friend. Clarke was more focused on their next stop. but she did take several sips of the juice, it wasn't long before miller and jasper started to make out and Octavia walked over next to her.

"Clarke, why don't you sleep? nothing will happen" Octavia said and laid down next to her, SHe sighed and tapped the map again. "How do you know that?" She asked before rubbing her very tired eyes, the younger blake stat up and looked at her.

"I don't but you should not over work yourself" she held her hand before laying down again, Clarke looked over at Miller who nodded and went to stand guard.

she knew Octavia was right but she hated feeling like she couldn't save anyone, but even with all the strength in the world Clarke was falling asleep. it wasn't after Clarke fell asleep. did miller start to relax and keep his eyes open around their camp. *the next day *

Clarke woke up to a loud laugh and saw Octavia chasing jasper who had the keys , she even chuckled herself as she got up . Eventually miller and raven the other people of the camp , hey got up and stopped jasper .

Clarke didn't know if she could watch the next tape in front of anyone , but she didn't want to not hear Bellamy's voice again . She would watch it once they hit their next spot , she missed her mom . But Abby would eventually understand, why Clarke and the others were doing this .

Their new camp wasn't far from another lake, which Clarke was grateful for . She had Octavia rest and try to help , but Miller told her to rest as well.

She grabbed the bag and climbed down till she reached a log , Octavia was swimming in the lake and looking at her . "Stay close "she yelled out after her , she got a eye roll from octavaia .

Clarke laid down on the against the log , she turned on the camera. Was she ready for what Bellamy might say? No but she didn't want to miss hearing him .

She fell too late and she wished she could have smack the old her .  
~  
Bellamy came in with his hand in a bandage , "don't worry I just sprained it "he chuckled and winced as he sat down .

"Clarke tell me that in the future you are being the amazing doctor ? " he whispered , Bellamy didn't know why he was whispering but didn't stop himself .

He stayed quiet for a few minutes, "you know when the ship landed , and you took leadership. I hated you but seeing how well you can lead I change my minds " he found himself smiling , He took one last look before turning off the camera.  
~

Clarke sighed knowing the tapes were almost done, and that meant she would have to really say goodbye to someone.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stopping at a lake can be fun, as long as you dont get bit

Clakre stayed in her mind until she heard a scream , but it was jasper who screamed . And it was all because Octavia pulled him in the water , she laughed and walked over .

"What just happened?" She asked even through she knew , but then jasper liked her into the water . Luckily the camera and the bag were safe in her tent , thanks to miller who was now jumping in the water .

"Water fight !" He yelled and splashed her , Clarke grinned and evil and splashed him back. For hours the 4 of them played with each other , but as soon as the sun hit it was time for dinner .

Octavia was up along with miller as the sun had gone to bed , she was deep in thoughts as the hours passed by slowly . Murphy wanted to come and help them , but her Brother was dead by him and he got a pass. She didn't feel Clarke waking up and sitting next to her , "o? You okay?" Her friend asked .

Octavia smiled and took her hand , "hoe was the next tape? Was Bellamy happy?" She tried to change the subject. Clarke nodded and faced the moon , "he was definitely ". The prince of the ice nation had agreed to meet them , Clarke was more worried on if anyone was following them .

Miller and jasper were in the back and her and Octavia in the front , it was barely light out when they drove to the meeting spot . Roam didn't trust her friends , but he agreed to meet with all of them . She nodded at Miller and stepped out of the rover , Roan was with Echo someone that they all hated .

"So why did you call this meeting?" Echo rolled her eyes as roan spoke , Clarke took a deep breath . "I want this war to stop , I know we started it but I'm here to come up with a compromise " she started , Clarke could clearly see echo hated her . But she didn't care what she thought , "so roan do you want to do this?".

Roan steppes in front of echo and told her to stop , he then faced her and looked at the bag . "I want that then you have a deal " . Clarke held onto to it tighter , "no! This bag stays with me " she said all defensively. Roan just chuckled , "fine then tell me why it's so important and you have a deal ".

he nodded to her friends as she and roan walked back , Echo asked up and stood in front of her prince . "Please tell me that you didn't consider it " she grabbed his hands, roan yanked away and nodded at Clarke .

"We will come by your camp in a few days " the prince said and left the sky crew standing there , Octavia came and hugged her while miller and jasper were not sure. Clarke smiled as they walked back to the rover , she didn't know why but she knew that this was going to be a big story soon .


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pranks, water swimming and tears are in everyones mind until a accident

Jasper was sitting up front with Clarke as they were heading back to camp arkadia, he knew Clarke was worried about how her mom would feel . "Hey, you want to drive?" He asked as they pulled to their small camp , it would be weeks until they returned to the main .

"No I am going to sleep but thanks jasper " she hugged him after he stopped the rover, he sighed and looked back at Octavia and Nathan who looked away . They knew Clarke was slowly slipping away , so they were trying their best to bring her back here but no luck .

Clarke had been slient since she told them the good news shirk roan , but it still hurt that he laughed when she told him the story. She helped set up her and Octavias tent and laid down , she opened the bag and starred at the camera.

Maybe Bellamy's voice would help make her happy again , but she knew that she would never truly be the way she use to be . The ride home she kept thinking of how mad her mom was , but she then decided to watch today's tape . Clarke put the 11th tape in and laid back down again , she pulled up the blanket and got settled in.

~  
Bellamy was holding some kind of food , he smiled at the camera. "Getting close to the end huh? You going to keep watching me Clarke " he said in that deep voice , he was quiet for a second before started laughing. "Finn tripped yesterday and I shouldn't laugh but he landed in mud" Bellamy said while finishing his meal , He threw away the stick and came back. "Clarke tell me that wherever you are , that you will be okay and everyone is too " he smiled and wiped his eyes, Bellamy then turned off the camera.

~

She sat up when she heard banging outside the tent , she put the camera in the bag and walked out . To her surprise jasper and miller has pranked Octavia and were now running around the camp , she laughed and stood by the tree.

"YOU!!" Octavia yelled and started to chase the boys , Clarke finally put the bag under her pillow and helped her. Within minutes everyone was in the lake and all wet , Clarke  
splashed miller who then returned the favor . But eventually they were all tired and cold and went to dry off , Clarke laid on bed after she was in new clothes .

*the next day *

  
Clarke hadn't slept too long and had helped jasper packed the rover while Octavia and Nathan got their breakfast, it was time to continue their long journey home .

Clarke was in the back with the younger Blake as jasper drove to their next small camp , Octavia handed her a towel and Clarke nodded . "Was I crying?" She asked , Octavia nodded and said last night . Clarke sighed and looked down . "I watched the first side of the 11th tape , I'm not ready for the other side " she whispered and closed her eyes . -


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after getting ready to finish the last tapes, Clarke knows what the next step and he showed her how.

~

"I don't know what to say anymore, ". Bellamy sighed and was laying down , it was night time and he was wide awake . "I almost told you how I felt this morning, but you ran Into Finns arms and I just couldn't deal with the rejection "

Bellamy spoke , his voice was full of hurt and pain . He pulled up the blanket with one hand , and held the camera with the other . "But if he doesn't treat you right have Octavia deal with him " he finally whispered, Bellamy felt his eyes start to close and with that he blew a kiss goodbye.

~

Clarke carefully put the tape back in its case , she never thought she would ever hear his voice like that . "Clarke ? We are here " Nathan said outside the rover , they had been driving for days and finally arrived at arkadia. '

She looked out the window and saw her mom with arms folded , Clarke opened the door and walked over to Abby . "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?! " her mother yelled as she was dragged back to camp .

"Mom stop! I was doing what was right " Clarke pulled free from her as they were now behind the gates and in their tent .

I wish you never had met that Bellamy , he was a bad influence on you " Abby Griffin scoffed , her daughter Clarke suddenly got angry and walked over to her .

"Don't you dare speak about bell like that! He was amazing and a great friend " Clarke cried and left her mother standing there . Clarke didn't stop till she was with her friend raven and Octavia again , the other two girls knew by her face .

That she had gotten in a fight with her mother , they kept their distance but still stayed near her . She finally grabbed their hands and smiled , "let's play a prank on the boys ". *that night*

Clarke still hadn't gone back to her mothers tent yet , she was helping out in the med bay . When her mom finally broke the awkward silence, "Clarke I'm sorry I said that about him , I know he's saved your life .

But he's gone and I didn't want you to share the same fate ". Clarke finally turned around and looked at her . "He should have been here mom , hes dead because of Murphy who you treat with kindness" she tried to speak but ended up crying .

Her mom pulled her in for a hug and sighed ,

"he's been arrested honey , Kane is holding a trial for him next week ".

That made Clarke look up and turn to face her mom , "wait really?! " Abby nodded and Clarke ran out of the tent . She yelled sorry back to her mom as she ran over to tell Octavia the news , screams were heard throughout the camp .


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe all of this was a dream, or maybe clarke has found a way to finally move on.

But happy screams as bellamy was getting justice for what happened to him , Clarke hugged Octavia and saw John giving her angry looks but she didn't care

. He took Bellamy away from them , deep down she wondered if she should forgive him but she wasn't ready .

~  
"Clarke! Clarke! "

Jaspers voice pulled her from sleeping and she rubbed her head , Clarke's eyes shot up when she saw she was back in a tent.

But it was werid because they hadn't used tents since it was only the 100 down here , She quickly wrapped a jacket around her and followed jasper out .

"Jasper where's my mom and everyone else ?"

She whispered not trying to gain attention, her friend turned and looked back at her like she hit her head or something.

"Clarke it's just us down here , now bellamy wants you and Finn to take guns when you go on the mission "

That's what stopped her in the tracks and bumped into jasper while she was at it , Did he say bellamy? Was bellamy alive?.

Clarke didn't focus on jaspers conversation anymore , but kept looking for bellamy and she was about to give up .

When she saw him yelling at Murphy's replacement, that's all clarke needed as she ran and yelled his name so loud even the grounders could hear them .

Bellamy turned at the mention of his name, he didnt have time to react as clarke pulled him in for a hug. he looked over at finn who was angry his girl was hugging him, which just made him laugh.

"clarke slow down, dont want someone to punch me'

Bellamy whispered as they pulled away, he saw clarke had fear like he was going to disapper at any time.

'i dont care, i love you bellamy.. i cant take the chance with finn anymore"

they both turned and looked at finn who stormed off, they both were glad their feelings were out, but they both knew they would have quite the storm in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the errors, glad you guys enjoy this story :)


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